Being the Body -Adela 8-1-2011
finishing my writing on Truth and freedom
Truth frees me like nothing else. I breathe into and out of who I am Being. Being in the now, letting everything go, discarding all my points of view like old dirty clothes or perhaps ones no longer in style here and now. I stand in neutral, feeling the air kissing my skin. I hear myself breathing, and feeling my tongue in my mouth as I swallow. I sink in deeper and deeper, as birds sing outside my window, and I feel a hair brush across my face, dust particles lighting up the air, their tiny bodies sparkling. Ah yes, as I inhale the feeling of YES as it arises on its own, without my awareness. That feeling which so slightly and yet strongly reverberates through every cell of my being. My hairs stand taller as if at attention. My breath a little more steady and clear. I hear it, that voice of truth which arises from deep within the deep within. From the void of me, the place where all brilliance lies dormant and waiting for its moment of birth. Truth frees me into the authenticity of here and now and the preciousness I am here to be.
Truth can be clear and joyful and can also make me cry dry and parched tears, fears rising to the surface, red heat rising as I am guided into my next bigger step. I like to pretend I am not my own best answer, yet the truth is always present between the doubts, the pain, the endless angry voices screaming inside and outside of me. “I feel stuck and don’t know what to do!!! “ How many times have I said this phrase to my friends, a coach, a psychic reader? I keep seeking answers only I can give myself!! As Krishnamurti said, “One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end.” No room to hide in a room filled with mirrors!
I am a loving person I told myself, “without conditions,” as my partner of 35 years stepped away. Yet I found envy hiding within my cells, fears of abandonment, jealousy, anger raising their little big heads into my life! Truth is personal, authentic and pierces those glass walls I try and hide behind. Yet when I can live in my own Truth, then my authenticity truly glows and who I am radiates out for anyone to see. I become open and vulnerable, willing to release role playing and conforming in exchange for my unique creative spirit, splashing its colors across the sky and into a bight new world. I can laugh, cry, or scream in any moment my own precious Truth, resisting nothing, as I open myself more fully into a world eager for my fuller authentic participation.